v6.2.3 - moving along, a point increase at a time

Think Geek April Fool's

Last but not list, on the 2019 list of of April Fool's jokes is Think Geek.  These were my favorite (and some times these things become reality!)  I don't know what that string of numbers on on the Captain Marvel pager.  Any Marvel fans out there to help me out?

Captain Marvel Universal Pager (link)
Pagers. Every cool 90’s kid had them, but what exactly were they for? Seriously. It's not like people in the 90’s were constantly waiting for a page so they could quickly fax someone an important document printed out on a dot-matrix printer from a file on a floppy disk. All while rewinding a VHS, waiting for a dial-up modem to connect, and flipping a cassette in a Walkman. Any of these words resonate with you?

Pagers are confusing and not even the people who had them know why they were necessary… but they totally were. You just have to take our word for it. Or at least take Captain Marvel's word for it. Because sometimes when you need a hero, the easiest way to get in touch is to page them.

This Captain Marvel Universal Pager might not be intergalactic, but it works as long as it's close to your phone. Powered by Bluetooth®, this pager will clip right on your pocket, belt loop, or high-waisted jeans. When you receive a phone call or text, your pager will alert you that you need to check your phone by flashing and beeping- just like in Marvel's Captain Marvel. Fortunately, instead of running to a payphone, all you have to do is pull out your cell phone. For a limited time, this Captain Marvel Universal Pager is available for only 1 cent with a 2-year contract commitment.

The Captain Marvel design is sure to impress your friends, and the colors go really well with a neon geometric wind breaker. It's perfect for emergencies - like when you run out of eggs, or you're being snapped out of existence.

What's the point of a pager if you still need your phone to use it? It's a secret.
Product Specifications

  • Captain Marvel Universal Pager 
  • A ThinkGeek exclusive 
  • Fully functioning pager that connects to your phone via Bluetooth® 
  • Displays up to 4 lines of text and 80 characters per line 
  • Only $0.01 with a 2-year contract ($9.99/month) 
  • No emoji support 
  • Up to 30,000 Maximum character capacity 
  • Compatibility: Supports all Android, Apple, and Stark devices 
  • Wireless Range: 30 ft. 
  • It's not actually intergalactic 
  • Only 90’s kids will remember to forget pagers 
  • 17 4011123 123801176 7415 53170 4379 
  • Materials: Plastic 
  • Dimensions: 2" tall x 3" wide x 3/4" long 
  • Power: 1 AA battery (included) 
  • Manufactured by Chronicle 

Kirby Roomba (link)
Kirby's hunger is never-ending. He's inhaled enemies, friends, blocks, bricks, and food. But he's not satisfied. He wants more. He wants… to clean your house.

Stemming from years of enhanced vacuum technology and dirt disposal, this Roomby Kirby robot vacuum uses advanced smart mapping technology to remember your floor plan and responds to a variety of different voice commands.

Kirby (Knowledge Interface Robot Buddy Yielder) is a complex intelligent AI emoter, and will transition between different poses to let you know when it’s full and needs to be emptied, when it’s charging, and when it’s in regular roaming mode. And because it's Kirby, our developers have brought even more customization. When vacuuming, you'll hear sound effects provided by Makiko Ohmoto who performed over 41 unique Kirby emotes that have never been heard before. 

To fully interface with the Kirby robot vacuum, we recommend downloading the custom app (available exclusively on Switch). Though it can function with voice commands only, the app unlocks additional features like navigated piloting (for custom hand-held cleaning) and Smash Mode (compatible with select robot vacuums - sold separately). 

Robots are definitely going to take over the world, but until then, let them vacuum your stuff! (>'O')> 

Mjolnir Mailbox (link)
We at ThinkGeek usually take a playful tone with our copy, but there's nothing cute or funny about vandalizing someone's mailbox. We swear to Odin, if we have to replace our mailbox again we'll set off Ragnarok ourselves. *Deep breath.* Sorry, you didn't deserve that. It's not like you're the one taking a baseball bat to our mailbox. RIGHT?

If you too have experienced the harsh sting of collecting scattered letters (ahem, bills) after finding your mailbox on the front lawn, we've got a solution for you. Before you go all Revengers on anyone, try out this Marvel Thor Mighty Mjolnir Mailbox. We named it after Thor's mighty hammer not just because it looks like Mjolnir, but also because this mailbox is nearly indestructible. Seriously. With a healthy stash of uru and signoff from some Dwarven blacksmiths, we've provided an ultimate solution that has a lifetime guarantee. Your mailbox will never be moved again. Even if you wanted to.

In addition to holding your mail and being virtually unmovable, we've added some extra features to make this mailbox an active part of your smart home. Ever had people snooping around in your mailbox? Not anymore. Just like you have to be worthy to wield Thor's hammer, you also have to be worthy to open this mailbox. This mailbox cannot be opened by anyone but official USPS workers and you. It comes with facial recognition technology that always has the most up-to-date list of USPS employees, and you can add up to 4 friends and family members as well.

Wondering if that mail has come yet? The sides will light up when your mail has been delivered (with optional push-notifications to your mobile device). Don't worry about replacing batteries or running power cords - it runs on solar energy. Need to mail something? We've replaced the boring mailbox flag with the wings of Thor's helmet. Because if we're embracing authenticity, we might as well go all the way.  
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